Marriage is on the decline, partly because most people aren’t aware of the scope of their duties when they consent to a marriage.
This is a contractual agreement between the two counterparties in a marital union.
It has been stripped of religious association, which generates the motivation for marriage but doesn’t always clarify the implications.
Since everyone’s situation is different, I’ve also tried to emphasize simplicity over specificity. You are welcome to adapt it to your needs.
Definitions
I – the indicated spouse signing the contract
You – the counterparty to “I”
General Agreements
I take you to be my spouse.
I am symbolically representing this experience with the following:
- A public ceremony to indicate this contract, with associated rituals (e.g., honeymoon)
- A metal ring worn on the fourth digit that represents both durability and life’s cycles
I promise to share in the extreme conditions associated with all of a life:
- Good and bad times
- Health and sickness
- Wealth and poverty
Relationship
I will trust you at your word.
Beyond my current capacity to perform them, I will exercise the following virtues and characteristics toward you:
- Love
- Kindness
- Selflessness
- Respect
- Compassion
To the farthest possible, I will be your friend.
- I will honor and cherish you.
- My sentiment runs strongly for you, and I intend to maintain at least some of that sentiment for the rest of my life.
- To the degree it is possible, I will strive to assist in your happiness and success.
We’ve had at least some play and fun that has brought us together, and I will continue dating you to keep that relational aspect.
Our greatest defects of character will represent themselves.
- When I see you at your worst, I will still accept you for who you are, without expectation of change.
- When you see me at my worst, I will trust that you will accept me for who I am, without expectation of change.
I will fail your expectations, but that won’t stop my love for you.
- I will expect you to do the same for me.
We will consistently forgive each other of any wrongdoing.
- If you’ve wronged me, I will release it in my own way.
- If I’ve wronged you, I will expect you to release it in your own way.
Cohabitation and Co-Ownership
Barring logistical constraints or specific cases of abuse, I will live with my spouse.
All our assets, and any future assets, are shared. While this pertains to money management, it also includes all possessions.
- Irrespective of whether we want them, we both have free license to use all our possessions.
I will fulfill my portion of housekeeping and all other aspects of maintaining a household.
If a risk presents itself to you, I will treat it as if it were a risk directly to my life.
Additional Conditions
I will maintain my intimacy with you, even when we’re older and less attractive.
- I will not withhold physical intimacy from you if you desire it.
In the event of a child, I will work with you to the best of my ability to take care of that child.
- The conditions I’ve given to you (honor, cherish, et al.) will be expanded in various forms towards love for that child.
If I become significantly wealthy or influential, I will still maintain this contract.
Constraints
I will not think of or act on a romantic relationship with another partner.
This contract, and your life by association, is my priority until one of our deaths.
- Barring specific conditions of pre-consented incapacitation, I will not hasten your death.
Your breach of this contract does not give me license to do the same.
I will always remember you are human, just like me.
- If I have a failing in my life, I will not expect you to be the answer to it.
I will maintain an awareness that you have a different neurology than I do.
- You may come to the same logic as I do, but it will not frame on the same premises, and will likely not use the same reasoning.
- While I will always love you, I will not expect all my emotional needs to be fulfilled in you.
Your failure in some aspect of life or our relationship does not give implicit license for me to respond.
Termination
This is a permanent, non-revocable contract.
- This commitment means I waive my right to leave the commitment without incident.
- I also waive my right to act based on my expectations of the counterparty.
The following conditions, however, may lead to a separation, and may open discussion of modifications or nullification of this contract:
- Pursuing a romantic relationship with someone else
- Addiction of any type
- Endless, unceasing conflicts
- Physical violence
- Money management issues
- Uneven power dynamics
- Religious differences
- Absence of sufficient support from family or the community
In the event of a breakdown in the arrangement, I will physically separate and seek personal growth before considering any long-term answers.
I will always maintain that the ideal scenario of this contract is reconciliation and restoration of our household.
- If the ideal scenario is not possible, I will consider divorce only as a last resort.
Additional Clauses
I recognize my weakness as a human, and understand that I will, in the future, wish to nullify this contract.
- My reliance on the community will determine my success in maintaining this engagement.
[clarify any additional requirements that bind for both parties]
Signatures
Male (or masculine) counterpart
_____________________________________________________
Female (or feminine) counterpart
_____________________________________________________
Officiant
_____________________________________________________
Government official (for legal recognition)
_____________________________________________________
Deity and denomination (if applicable)
_____________________________________________________